Let The Vision Come From What God Has Taken You Through - Bishop T.D. Jakes

A toast to something new!!!

I was just complaining about life and GOD not hearing me when I received the news I been waiting on… I got accepted into Barry University and GOD IS AWESOME>>> AND HE IS NOT IGNORING ME!!!! So lets toast to something new, something better, something worth it!!!

Can I open my eyes yet???

For some odd reason my life is utterly ridiculous right now. Things are not panning out the way they should and honestly it would feel so much easier to give up. Life is not my friend, my car caught a fire, I had technical difficulties with my apartment and was forced to move home, my new job pay rate sucks, I owe my school $400 to pay for classes, my grades are not as great as usually, and to make it all worst I don’t have that love that makes all my bad worth while. I pray, pray, pray and it seems as if God, who I know can hear me, may be ignoring me. I hate to sound so hasty but this is how I feel. I am a little girl with my eyes tightly closed waiting on the bad movie scene to change asking a trusted adult “CAN I OPEN MY EYES YET?” I’m telling myself it’s ok it always gets better just be optimistic about it at least you have a job, a place to live, and you can always ask for a ride but I’ve always been a loner so my life hurts because I have to rely on others for help. God what are you trying to teach me this season? Can I learn this lesson efficiently so I never have to review this lesson again??? Can i open my eyes now?

Decisions

Today I choose to walk away. I walked away from my job. I don't know how I will make it but my job I just couldn't take it. If something doesn't happen fast I don't know what I will do but I will walk by faith and not by sight. I'm afraid but I don't fear anything. I'm ready for whats next GOD order my steps.

Random

The funny thing about life is... we must live before we can die. As alive humans the most important thing that sets us apart from the dead humans is the essence of being, the rapture of emotions, and intense senses we are made urgently aware of. The suffering we endure COUNT IT ALL JOY, the love we lost COUNT IT ALL JOY, and feeling of fear and depression that satisfies are hunger for death is what really makes us alive MOSTLY COUNT THIS JOY. Take each thought in your mind, movement in your heart and gut feeling as a beautiful thing because this life that we gracefully endure the dead remorsefully hunger to feel just once more. We must not take it for granted or allow others to use our lives as there instruments of evil. This life giving to you was a good thing; become GOD's instrument and let him use you as he may. Ride thee emotional ups and downs because without them we are dead and most importantly unable to laugh about life.

Read into this

SO walking in the mall today only to be distracted by a Walden's Book Store... I fell in love with 10 books that I just had to have and they were only a dollar each and for every four books you buy you get the 5th book free. HOW COOL IS THAT? Just a short list of the ten i choose:
1.)Hiding in Hip Hop-Terrance Dean
2.)The Collaborative Habit 'Life Lessons for Working Together"-Twyla Tharp with Kornbluth
3.)Hold Love Strong-Matthew Aaron Goodman
4.)Thelonious Monk-Robin D. G. Kelly
5.)Dead Above Ground-Jervey Tervalon
6.)Tarnished Beauty-Cecilia Samartian
7.)lETTERS TO YOUNG MAN-HILL HARPER
8.)In the Midnight Heat-Blair Underwood
9.)Through the Wire-Kanye West (IDK Y)
10.)32 Third Graders One Class Bunny-Phillip Dave
So I just got ten books for $8.56 and I'm so excited about each one. I can't wait to read them!!!! I had a book-gasm and also realized why I don't have many friends.

Just the Truth

I cry in the shower so the tears blend in with the water falling down

I walk in traps I set up myself

I love someone who doesn't feel the same way as I do

Sometimes it hurts

I am not a good friend

I don't have many friends

I am mostly happy

I have sex to feel love just to end up losing pieces of me

I was once addicted to sex

I have had sex with people just so they would leave me alone

I really prefer relationship and not sex

I like what I see when I look in the mirror

My mind never stops

I desire a relationship with God but I am so afraid to disappoint him that I don't pursue it

I really do care but fear getting hurt so I force myself to not care

I love my siblings more than they know

I want to be loved more than I give love

I refuse to quit

I am Narrcissistic and dettached

I am not as crazy as they think