My weekend was great. I took my little sister to see Remember Me it was an amazing movie please go see it. I keep doing things that backfire on me so I decided I'm going to change not my desires, but my actions and focus. Man It's so amazing how Good God is to the least of us because I'm not worthy yet and still he blesses me have mercy on me and bears with my dingy self. Being heartbroken and love sick is OK and doesn't feel like the end when you serve who I serve it feels like I have to stick around to get the better he has in store for me. It's amazing when you think you have the best and God takes your best with a smile (while you feeling deserted) and he plants something better. But I can go on and on about this but instead I'll leave you with...
DAY 9 T D JAKE'S HOPE FOR EVERY MOMENT
I am God, and there is none like Me, declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying, MY COUNSEL shall stand, and I will do all My Pleasure.
Isaiah 46:9b-10
I can't live my life knowing what will happen but I can refuse to die until some things come to pass. In my chase with destiny although I can't see the finish line and it's not clear to me who is standing waiting and cheering for me at the end I'll never stop running until I do. God has already said "she's mines" and adversities will pass but joy remains as long as endurance on my part and strength from the lord abides in my blood.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
T.D. Jakes 365 Hope For Every Moment Day 5
... unto obedience and sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ: grace unto you, and peace, be multiplied.
1 Peter 1:26
We did not need the blood only for when we cried out to the lord t come into our hearts by faith. On the contrary, we still need that same blood today. All our strength and nourishment and every promise and miracle must flow to us through the blood. It give us life from day to day!
WE have lost our teachings of the blood in this age of Pentecostalism. We have learned about the Spirit of God, but we failed to teach about the blood. Consequently, we have produced a generation of believers who are empowered by the Spirit but do not feel forgiven! They are operating in the gifts, but living in guilt!
The blood must be preached. Without it we have no life. Why are we wasting the power of God on the problems of our past? The blood has already totally destroyed past bondages that held us down! It was through the eternal bondages that held us down! It was through the eternal Spirit of God that Jesus was able to offer up His blood. There can be no Pentecost where the is no Passover!
1 Peter 1:26
We did not need the blood only for when we cried out to the lord t come into our hearts by faith. On the contrary, we still need that same blood today. All our strength and nourishment and every promise and miracle must flow to us through the blood. It give us life from day to day!
WE have lost our teachings of the blood in this age of Pentecostalism. We have learned about the Spirit of God, but we failed to teach about the blood. Consequently, we have produced a generation of believers who are empowered by the Spirit but do not feel forgiven! They are operating in the gifts, but living in guilt!
The blood must be preached. Without it we have no life. Why are we wasting the power of God on the problems of our past? The blood has already totally destroyed past bondages that held us down! It was through the eternal bondages that held us down! It was through the eternal Spirit of God that Jesus was able to offer up His blood. There can be no Pentecost where the is no Passover!
Monday, March 8, 2010
The Things We Endure to Feel Love
On my Journey a very good friend told me that I was being a stupid black girl. I was not offended in any kind of way but enlightened beyond belief. Now I'm happy to say, I finally found the strength to walk away. GOD could not have CREATED a better day. To let go of what I know in hopes for something new. To find trust In grace and RID MYSLEF OF lies so I can now live in truth. I will not go on and on with what will change in time BUT i just will say thank you lord because this decision was not all mines.
This is who I Love, WHY???
Today was a beautiful day in sunny,earth. The weather was perfect and it just felt so right. The perfect day to spend time with GOD but like always I fail to give him enough of me so I suffer. Donny rang my phone off the hook with words of compliments but His job calls him to be busy so he could give me no time & when he is available I never really am interested in wasting his only free time. Monroe mental disorder showed up today so I had to give him space. BUT Horhay remains on my mind so I break my fast and call Horhay because i see something that sparks jealousy. We talk like things are fine and then so suddenly he ruins my entire night. I ask him can I come see him, he says "sure call before you come" and I do only to end up running into drama.
Story of my love life. On the way there as I am calling saying I'm on the way he says OK I'll call you back I'm like "no I'm literally around the corner" he hangs up just in time for me to break down at a gas station as I'm calling him stuck and stranded in the dark he turns his phone off and I call his house phone just to learn he is not home. I think to myself this is who i love, why? My faithful god who told me to wait on him and i don't but he keeps a ram in the bush for when i don't listen anyhow. Case and Point, then a complete stranger comes up to me and gives me gas money and wipes my tears away. I'm calling Horhay completely hurt to realize he turned his phone off and in the middle of the night he text me the BS words:I'm sorry, I'm totally sorry and apologize 4 wat damage i have dun 2nite... Ur right absolutely rite... I love u, I love you. I know love is selfless so i can't help but think that he is lying no way love and selfish motives and thoughts abide in the same place. I wish I could hate him but God tells us to bless those who curse us and love them just the same. I know the bible talks about fools but it does not teach us to be a fool. I love Horhay but he only LOVED me. Weeping I endure tonight to find joy waiting in the morning.
Story of my love life. On the way there as I am calling saying I'm on the way he says OK I'll call you back I'm like "no I'm literally around the corner" he hangs up just in time for me to break down at a gas station as I'm calling him stuck and stranded in the dark he turns his phone off and I call his house phone just to learn he is not home. I think to myself this is who i love, why? My faithful god who told me to wait on him and i don't but he keeps a ram in the bush for when i don't listen anyhow. Case and Point, then a complete stranger comes up to me and gives me gas money and wipes my tears away. I'm calling Horhay completely hurt to realize he turned his phone off and in the middle of the night he text me the BS words:I'm sorry, I'm totally sorry and apologize 4 wat damage i have dun 2nite... Ur right absolutely rite... I love u, I love you. I know love is selfless so i can't help but think that he is lying no way love and selfish motives and thoughts abide in the same place. I wish I could hate him but God tells us to bless those who curse us and love them just the same. I know the bible talks about fools but it does not teach us to be a fool. I love Horhay but he only LOVED me. Weeping I endure tonight to find joy waiting in the morning.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
OK so I'm like DON'T EFFING CONTACT ME I'LL CONTACT YOU
"3 1/2 years and we playing these childish games once more. Don't get me wrong I messed up once but if you love me you'll for give me and get over it. Gosh this emotional rollercoaster is ridiculous should I stay or go? I know I love you but am I in love with you???? I I I I I why not just be with I instead of me the Lisa who loved you enough hemrrhoid boy to stick my mancured nails up your ass to apply ointment to your oversized hemorrhoids. "
"Lisa why you tripping? I'm just not sure what I want to do"
"Screw you Horhay Don't contact me anymore I'll contact you"
"What???"
"Don't effeing contact me I'll Contact you" and I hung up feeling so powerful
Well for starters my name is Lisa. If you want fairytale storys IDK what to tell you because my bloggs are strictly reality mixed with my feelings. I will spare no details not even the things that most people are to embarrassed to tell or talk about. Horhay is my on again off again lover for the past years. We are usually on but lately aka since i cheated he hasn't been the Horhay i fell in love with but yet and still I love him. Then I have my new to "associates" who are starting to grow on me Donny and Monroe. I so like Monroe but he dropped a big bomb on me he has mental health issues but I still like him so much although i'll probably go back to Horhay in a heartbeat. Oh when life unfolds you find a lot of shitty pampers and sticky situations that you just have to trust god to get you out of. Yes i text talk and i cuss and use god in the same sentence but he knows i love and trust him for everything. I pretty much a mess. A pretty young lady as lost as a possum, as dingy as a blond who dies her hair blonde with an e thinking it's a different color, as smart as scholar, witty, sacastic and plan clueless. Comment, Judge, Critique, give advice, just help it's all constructive!!!
"Lisa why you tripping? I'm just not sure what I want to do"
"Screw you Horhay Don't contact me anymore I'll contact you"
"What???"
"Don't effeing contact me I'll Contact you" and I hung up feeling so powerful
Well for starters my name is Lisa. If you want fairytale storys IDK what to tell you because my bloggs are strictly reality mixed with my feelings. I will spare no details not even the things that most people are to embarrassed to tell or talk about. Horhay is my on again off again lover for the past years. We are usually on but lately aka since i cheated he hasn't been the Horhay i fell in love with but yet and still I love him. Then I have my new to "associates" who are starting to grow on me Donny and Monroe. I so like Monroe but he dropped a big bomb on me he has mental health issues but I still like him so much although i'll probably go back to Horhay in a heartbeat. Oh when life unfolds you find a lot of shitty pampers and sticky situations that you just have to trust god to get you out of. Yes i text talk and i cuss and use god in the same sentence but he knows i love and trust him for everything. I pretty much a mess. A pretty young lady as lost as a possum, as dingy as a blond who dies her hair blonde with an e thinking it's a different color, as smart as scholar, witty, sacastic and plan clueless. Comment, Judge, Critique, give advice, just help it's all constructive!!!
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