This is who I Love, WHY???

Today was a beautiful day in sunny,earth. The weather was perfect and it just felt so right. The perfect day to spend time with GOD but like always I fail to give him enough of me so I suffer. Donny rang my phone off the hook with words of compliments but His job calls him to be busy so he could give me no time & when he is available I never really am interested in wasting his only free time. Monroe mental disorder showed up today so I had to give him space. BUT Horhay remains on my mind so I break my fast and call Horhay because i see something that sparks jealousy. We talk like things are fine and then so suddenly he ruins my entire night. I ask him can I come see him, he says "sure call before you come" and I do only to end up running into drama.
Story of my love life. On the way there as I am calling saying I'm on the way he says OK I'll call you back I'm like "no I'm literally around the corner" he hangs up just in time for me to break down at a gas station as I'm calling him stuck and stranded in the dark he turns his phone off and I call his house phone just to learn he is not home. I think to myself this is who i love, why? My faithful god who told me to wait on him and i don't but he keeps a ram in the bush for when i don't listen anyhow. Case and Point, then a complete stranger comes up to me and gives me gas money and wipes my tears away. I'm calling Horhay completely hurt to realize he turned his phone off and in the middle of the night he text me the BS words:I'm sorry, I'm totally sorry and apologize 4 wat damage i have dun 2nite... Ur right absolutely rite... I love u, I love you. I know love is selfless so i can't help but think that he is lying no way love and selfish motives and thoughts abide in the same place. I wish I could hate him but God tells us to bless those who curse us and love them just the same. I know the bible talks about fools but it does not teach us to be a fool. I love Horhay but he only LOVED me. Weeping I endure tonight to find joy waiting in the morning.